Today's Sexuality

As parents it is hard to talk about tough issues. This New Year I have started a new series on sexuality for my teen group. I have found some interesting information that has opened my own eyes to struggles I have had for many years. This post is to encourage you as a parent to have those tough talks with your kids that you dread.

One youth leader actually suggests that the appropriate time to talk with your child is before they turn 10. It seams that our world is getting crazier and crazier in regards to sexuality. I personally agree with him. If we start to have that conversation with our kids early on our success in communicating to them becomes greater. It seems that if we give our kids strong values on how their sexuality should be then we set them up for success in life regarding sex.

Fist we must let them know how awesome sex is if it is done for what is was meant to be. One fact that really hit me was that no where in the bible does it say SEX IS SIN, or BAD. It does however give us a lot of warnings about using sex in the wrong way. So the misuse is what is bad. I then found out that I had been struggling with issues from my own past cause my parents never really let me understand the purpose and value of waiting till marriage. I only got the you better not have sex till marriage routine that is the norm with most christian parents.

I encourage you to let your kids know that sex with your spouse is awesome and done right is the BEST SEX EVER. Josh McDowell quoted a statistic about christian women overall had the best sex than any other demographic in the study. That really shows that if we wait and only have sex with one partner we can have amazing sex. If you can start building the value of how awesome married sex is you will start building amazing values in your kids. It seems that we have put sex under a rug and tried to hide it for so long. It has become so taboo in churches that we are really being ignorant about it.

I know you are saying that sex is private but even in the bible it is glorified. Try reading Song of Solomon, it is all about amazing sex between a man and woman. And if you are one of those that don't think that is a part of the bible cause of how racy it is then you can't argue with Proverbs. Proverbs 5 has a section about how awesome a womans breasts are. So we can't ignore it. Sex won't go away. It will only help the evil one have a better hold on your child if you don't let them understand the purposes and build that value in your child.

So what are these purposes of sex:
1. Procreation
2. Unify you and your spouse one flesh union
3. Enjoyment

The last two really get into a true unity worship for your spouse and you. Most of my sexual issues were due to not understanding that waiting is more amazing than hoping into bed with every girlfriend I encountered.

I truly encourage you to spend some time with your child going over the biblical purpose of sexuality. Take out the bible and show them how awesome God intended it to be. Model it by letting them know how much you enjoy it with there mom or dad. It may seem crazy and personal but your kids want you to be a little transparent once in awhile. It won't kill you and it may even help you get closer to them. You don't need to go into detail just let them know how much you enjoy it. They need to know it was by fooling around they came into this world.

I can only encourage you to take a risk and open up to your child. It will take your own courage and determination to give them the resources and values they will need to make a purity and abstinence decision. But if you show them how and why they will be a little better prepared to overcome the temptation to mess around.

Let me finish this off with this insight:
One of the best illustrations I have heard about this subject is to ask them to picture them standing there at the altar, and the priest says you may kiss the bride and the groom goes in to kiss the bride and they both see everyone that the other has kissed, had sex with, had oral sex with and so on and realize that they had those lips and body before them.

If I had heard that years ago I may have thought differently about messing around with another man's woman. Every person they mess with that they don't marry was meant for someone else.

I hope these insights and lessons can help you have a better relationship with your child.